10 Influential Albums – Day 2

The B-52’s Self Titled First Album

This would be another stone in my musical foundation. I’ve written about my exposure to the B-52’s before, so I’ll skip that. What I’ll do is talk about the amount of time I’ve spent dancing to Rock Lobster, the full 6:48 of it, not the shortened version. “Down! Down!!” The time I’ve spent trying name all 52 Girls. The time Glitter Queen and I had “Dance This Mess Around” played at our wedding reception because it’s just so good. How their version of “Downtown” is so different than Petula Clark’s version, and I totally want to go to THAT downtown instead of Petula Clark’s

I’ll talk about my memories of the seeing teens dance to this album and DEVO and thinking, “OH! I get it.” At the age of 9 or 10, when I saw them, and heard that music, I can’t tell you how pivotal a moment it was for me. On a podcast this morning, I heard journalist and Jann Wenner biographer, Joe Hagan say something that totally relates to this album, “just a fantastic expression or joy. If you listen to this record it’s fun and it’s funny.” He was talking about the Specials first album, but seriously, these songs on the B-52’s, that’s it.

I’ll tell you how over the years I’ve seen the B-52’s many, many times and how they always impress me, even when Cindy’s voice is failing because she has a cold, but she still is there doing the show.

I’ll tell you how I know I have an instant connection with someone when I see that they have this album, CD, digital file in their music collection.

I’ll tell you how Ramona’s doctor, the dearly departed, Dr. Yoder, had “Rock Lobster” as his ringtone and how that spoke volumes.

I’ll tell you how mustachioed Fred Schneider banging that cowbell in the song means more to me than the cowbell in “Honky Tonk Women”.

I’ll tell you how when I’m driving around listening to music I almost always think to myself, “How would this sound if it was a B-52’s song?” “Shut Up and Dance With Me” – totally could be one of theirs, Fred – “Come on, GIRL!!” Cindy & Kate harmonizing in their amazing way, “Don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me”. Then the 3 of them together, “SHUT UP and DANCE with me!” It’s a logical connection to “Dance This Mess Around”.

If you have this album and you haven’t listened to it recently, go and do it. If you only know the B-52’s because of “Roam” or “Love Shack”, I’m not sure what you’ll think of this, but I hope you go listen and I hope you love it like I do. So, don’t forget, “Planet Claire has pink air, all the trees are red. No one ever dies there. No one has a head…”

What it could have been

DEVO, New Traditionalists. Man, oh, man. Those teens listened to DEVO, too and again, it just spoke to me. So weird and so awesome. I think I’ve said this before, but I tried to get a group of my friends in 7th grade to dress up in matching white shirts and white pants and be DEVO for the day. I’m pretty sure an older brother of one of the guys convinced us that it was a bad idea.

Advertisements

Just Like Starting Over

 

(Full Disclosure – this post has nothing to do with John Lennon’s song of the same title. I was hoping it would, but not happening. On with the post…)

Here at Trinity School, we are always striving to increase our ability to help our students. One of the main ways this happens is through the professional development (PD) that Trinity offers. Our PD is meaningful and impacting.

This is my third year at Trinity, and I do not think it is an exaggeration to say that I have grown more professionally in those three years than in the 18 I was in public school. That statement is hard to believe, I imagine. I am sure that you may even think that I am employing hyperbole, but I honestly think it is a true statement.

I have mentioned in a previous post that we are not only expected to continue to grow as a teacher, but it is encouraged. Opportunities abound for teachers and staff members to explore areas and techniques that will benefit us in the classroom, but also in areas of our own personal growth. The administration knows that when we are taking care of ourselves, stretching our minds, learning new things, we will be more effective in the classroom, and ultimately that is our main goal. To become the best  that we can be in the classroom so that our students will get the absolute best education they can while they are at Trinity.

So, how does that tie into the title of this post? That would be the recent addition of the concept of mini-lessons to the classroom. What is a mini-lesson? From the Web Site, Teacher Vision, “A mini lesson is a short lesson with a narrow focus that provides instruction in a skill or concept that students will then relate to a larger lesson that will follow. A mini lesson typically precedes reading workshop or writing workshop, but it can serve as an introduction to a social studies, science, or math lesson.”

I have always been a whole-group teaching kind of teacher. I have relied on my ability to hold my students’ attention through my kinetic personality and delivery as well as finding ways to help the students connect to the lesson. I think I have been successful at this, but after learning about mini-lessons and seeing this approach from some of my co-workers I have made a decision that it will benefit my students more if I adopt this method as well. It is a big change in teaching styles and one that I am attempting to make this year.

Two critical factors in successfully implementing the mini-lesson strategy are keeping the lessons short and concise and the conferencing that occurs with individual students while the remainder of the class is independently working. I’m not necessarily known for being one to get directly to the point. My students learn that pretty quickly. I am learning to cut down my delivery to the very essence of the lesson I am introducing or teaching to the class. Doing so will help to ensure that the engagement of the students will be held. One on one conferencing takes time, practice and a very different approach than a whole-group style of teaching. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I’m not a quiet person, but in order to not distract the other students, I am going to need to find use my inside voice.  I have one, I just don’t use it very often. Learning to be unobtrusive as I make my way around the classroom to confer with students is something that I can see may be another challenge for me.

Luckily, I have the knowledge that challenges make me rise to the occasion. I have 20 years of experience in education. I have so many tools in my toolbox (teacher lingo, y’all). Most importantly, I have the support of an awesome administrative team and co-workers who will help me with this challenge. Their encouragement, advice, and observations will guide me along this path to taking my teaching to a new level.

To top it off, I am inviting my administrators and colleagues in my class to watch me this year as I am starting over. Robert Kaplinsky has issued the #ObserveMe Challenge, a chance for teachers to invite others in to observe them in the moment and look for specific feedback on different goals the teacher lists on a sign outside the classroom door:

img_5560

I am excited about this and a little nervous. As I said, it is a big change for me, but one that I know will be beneficial for my students, and above all else, as a teacher, I want to be the very best I can for my students. (Maybe I should have had a David Bowie song in my head?)

What challenges are you facing and what goals have you set for yourself this school year? I’d love to hear from you on these topics.

 

Week of Service

This past week I had the pleasure and privilege to take part in the Week of Service with the Oak Grove UMC Youth Ministry. Five days out of the kids’ summer break were given to help different people in different parts of Atlanta with different needs. I participated Monday – Wednesday. My 14-y.o. did Monday – Thursday and my 11-y.o. did Tuesday and Wednesday. My plan was to include information that I took notes on each organization, but my phone took a bath and the notes are lost, so I’m just providing links to each organization for you to follow up on.13482932_296596774012852_935247682296494223_o

This is the first day and the group of kids that came with us. We went to Open Hand and delivered meals to folks in the Atlanta area. We broke into two groups and delivered meals to 21 people. Some of them invited the Youth in and visited with them. During our orientation, we were told that we may be the only people the clients see during the day. The team that got invited in was much smaller than our other team. We delivered meals to two assisted living communities on the same piece of property. All the clients were happy to see us, but also happy for us to go on our way.

Our second day we headed out to Mountain View Personal Care Home. For this day we were doing some maintenance around the facility. Some painting, some planting, some cleaning. The kids knocked it out very quickly and with only a couple of paint incidents (my 11-y.o. included). Luckily, the incidents were on the kids and not messes on the property. After finishing up our jobs pretty quickly, we loaded our buses back and headed for some good food for Taco Tuesday.

13502865_297248863947643_366927287704514526_o13495609_297248920614304_2110242951276619456_o

The third day we headed over to the Toco Hills Community Alliance to help distribute food to families from the  Mobile Food Pantry. We watched as the truck pulled in and unloaded seven pallets of donated food to be distributed. It was hot work! The kids, however, were super efficient and super friendly. They greeted each family that drove through with a smile and arms full of groceries. We left feeling tired, but very grateful for what we have and happy to have been able to help those in need.13497928_297476123924917_4532408098611723673_o13528062_297476127258250_2968021674392176578_o13483395_297479697257893_3176185617188843107_o

The 11-y.o. and 14-y.o. showing some typical great Picture Faces

Thursday was my birthday (yay!) so I took this day off, but the Youth continued on! They made lunches for the Smart Lunch, Smart Kids program in Decatur and then delivered the lunches to some very appreciative children.

13415463_297775627228300_7087275251774968398_o

The last day of the week, the Youth delivered care packages for girls ages 12-17 who have been  victims of sex trafficking. The last part of that sentence was painful to type, but it’s real and it is being addressed and helped by the Wellspring Living for Girls organization. Because of the severe nature of the organization, the Youth do not have contact with the girls living at the facility, but instead, they provided the aforementioned care packages to be handed out later. After delivering the packages they were able to help out around the grounds of the facility, doing some yard work and basic cleaning.

13558804_299170783755451_7723795876881630818_o

Overall, the week saw 18-20 teenagers give 4 hours daily to help those in need. With summer swim league, jobs, summer reading, daily responsibilities and more, these kids showed up and put in a great effort to help others. It was humbling to be a part of this week. It made me more thankful for what I have. It also made me so proud to be a part of the ministry of Oak Grove UMC Youth. I love working with the kids anyway, but when I get to see them in this type of situation it really makes my heart swell with love and pride.

Earlier this year I spoke about the loss of my good friend, Katie. Katie was an integral part of the Central Night Shelter in downtown Atlanta.  After she died I was speaking with friends about how to move forward after such a loss of such a significant person. Someone who truly lived out Jesus’ words of, “Love your neighbor as yourself” in such a hands-on way. I hope that by taking part in this past week, as well as getting my Girls involved and participating, takes me a little closer to being able to follow in her footsteps.

I hope that you will follow one or more of these links and find a way to help at some point soon; whether by donation or giving some of your time to help. I can say, for me, it paid off tremendously.

Book Review – /The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth/ by Alexandra Robbins

preface statement – I hate that I can’t underline or italicize the title up there

book cover

I found this book on one of the tables in the Teachers’ Lounge at Trinity back in late April or early May. I wasn’t sure I’d get to it, but it’s title grabbed my attention. I started reading it a few days after I took it home and got drawn in pretty quickly.

The author, Alexandra Robbins, follows six individuals for a school year. Each one is given a categorical label along with their name:

  • Blue – The Gamer
  • Whitney – The Popular Bitch
  • Regan – The Weird Girl
  • Noah – The Band Geek
  • Eli – The Nerd
  • Joy – The New Girl

In addition to introducing each of these people, Robbins also gives background information on what she calls the cafeteria fringe – “People who are not part of or who are excluded from a school’s or society’s in crowd.” She goes on to explain how very often those who a part of the cafeteria fringe go on to much more successful lives than the popular, or in crowd, people. She acknowledges that getting through those times of lack of popularity is not easy, and is a “gut-wrenching social landscape”. Robbins backs up her claim of the cafeteria fringe’s post-high school successes with something she calls Quirk Theory – “Many of the differences that cause a student to be excluded in school are the same traits or real-world skills that others will value, love, respect, or find compelling about that person in adulthood and outside of the school setting.”

The book is divided up into six parts, late summer-early fall all the way to late spring-early summer. In between each section Robbins introduces new ideas, explores different perspectives and shares stories of current well-known people that were not part of the popular crowds when they were in high school.

As I got further into the book I was amazed time and time again with how horrible high school students can be. I saw myself as part of the fringe when I was in high school, but I was really a floater – I could move pretty easily between groups at school. I did not fit into any easily definable category. I wasn’t a jock, but I swam for my school and played softball and basketball for a church league. I definitely wasn’t a nerd, my grades were far too low to be considered that. I didn’t drink or do drugs, so I wasn’t a stoner. I liked punk rock, but also many other types of music, so no to that too. I had the good fortune to be able to make the choice to walk away from the popular crowd at the end of 8th-grade. I say this as opposed to those that were never given the opportunity to be part of that crowd, more than an arrogant boast.

Robbins’ stories of her subjects are fascinating, sad, alarming as well as funny and touching. One of the subjects has an interesting twist that I won’t spoil. I highlighted over 30 parts of the book that struck me. There really are too many to go into, so I’m just going to try to hit some of the ones that really stuck out to me – positively and negatively.

The whole idea of popularity is split into the standard way of looking at it – the opinion of a person from another to perceived popularity – “how students rank a classmate’s reputation rather than their personal opinion”.

The part I am going to include now really blows me over. Even reading it again for this part just leaves me speechless. This comes from the mini-chapter, Understanding the Popular Bitch

When I asked a popular boy from Arkansas how people at his high school treated               students who were different from others, he said, “We crushed their dreams. We             had a kid who wanted to be cool, but he wore eyeliner, so we invited him to a party,         got him drunk and pushed him into a fire and then some guys peed on him when he         passed out. He moved the next week. [Supposedly due to technicalities, charges               against the aggressors were dropped.] We cut off a Pentecostal girl’s hair and hid             her skirt in gym class, just because we were all Baptists and thought Pentecostals             were weird. We felt it our right to do whatever we pleased. Part of being cool was             uniformity and anything that isn’t part of our hive mind needs to be mocked.”

I’m just going to let that sink in for a minute.

There’s nothing at all that get me to understand that mind set. Nothing. And the thing is, those kids were probably seen around their town as good, upstanding Christian boys and girls. It’s madness!

There is a section called, The Courage of Nonconformists that I really liked. I’ve always considered myself a nonconformist, and in high school I embraced that. Reading this section made me feel good about that, especially with all the science Robbins includes that shows how our brains are mostly hard-wired to conform. Looking at my daughters now, I can see some of the same non-conformity that I had. GQ had and has it in equal, if not greater quantities than I do.

Robbins talks a good bit about how school systems are designed to get kids to think inside the box when almost every article written about what America needs to do to get education back on track is help to develop students that can problem solve, and almost all of those articles mention students that think outside the box are the ones that are usually best at doing that. I have been fortunate enough to work in three schools where the usual is not the case.

The last part of the book that I’ll talk about is the end where Robbins gives three sections devoted to what students, parents and teachers can do to help this situation. For the students, it again is a little heart-breaking. To be told to hang in there, it will get better seems so shallow, even though it is, for the most part, true. I don’t know how many students will read this book, but I think if they do they can find some hope and some connections with the subjects. I guess the part about the parents seems to be what GQ and I naturally try to do for The Girls. I think the part about what schools can do may be just as hard as what students can do. So much in education is set in stone. So many rules and laws and standards come from people that are not in school buildings daily, with the students. Everything Robbins says is necessary, but not easy to attain at all. However, if an administrator or teacher reads this book and recognizes some changes they can make to help students on the fringe feel more valued then that is a step in the right direction.

I think that The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth should be required reading for anyone going into education. I also think that anyone considering being a parent, or has recently become a parent should read it also. It’s eye-opening on many different levels. I think that anyone who relates to children at all can find something that they can use to make a connection where there might not be one currently, and again, that is a step in the right direction.

The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth is available for Kindle (currently $2.99!!), hardback and paperback.

Current Favorites (fka Top 10 List)

The Cheeps

These chickens. They’re known as The Cheeps here at the Benefield Homestead. Each year Trinity School kindergarten students hatch chicks. Lots and lots of chicks. Since our last chicken experiment didn’t end up like we had planned we decided to start from scratch. I brought 5 chicks home so they could be with us and get used to us (and all the other animals) and hopefully stick around with us instead of flying the coop. Literally. We spend time with The Cheeps every day so as they get older they will not run away from us like crazy chickens, even though that’s what they are. The two white ones and Tina, the caramel colored one seem to get that idea. The two black/gray ones, not so much. It has been fascinating watching them grow. We think that one of them is developing into a rooster – the black/gray one with the growing comb on its head – that we will give to a rooster-friendly home before he starts to crow.  As summer goes on look for updates and pictures.

Keeping Kids in Motion

I have the great fortune to work at a school with some amazing PE teachers.One of them, Justin Cahill, blogs regularly about exactly what the blog is titled, Keeping Kids in Motion.
He also has a Facebook group under the same name. It currently has 921 members! People from all over submit articles, videos, and pictures of games, ideas, thoughts, questions and more dedicated to helping keep our kids, our students, ourselves active. I love his passion and dedication.

May 28 – August 7

It’s summer break, y’all! It’s awesome. I am so thankful to have this time off. I know there are some teachers that like to say that summer break has nothing to do with their decision to teach. I have no time for that. Of course, it’s not the main reason to get into teaching, but to deny that time off as an absolute reason to celebrate? Come on! This summer break I am trying something new – New Directions! I’ve made a two lists: Things I Need to Do and Things I Want to Do. Unlike years in the past when I’ve made lists of things to get done over summer, this time, I’ve included plans for getting them done. Now, I am sure that not all of them will get done, but this past school year with the help and advice of my department supervisor I started making lists of daily goals to accomplish, so I have somewhat of a habit going. To many of you this may seem like it’s common sense, well, to me it’s still a new thing. The whole planning thing has never been a strength of mine, so I’m trying to develop a new habit.

Summer Swim Season

Both of The Girls swim during summer league. Coco swims year around, but Ramona has several other sports going on, so we give her a break. I absolutely love summer swim season! I understand that it’s easy for me to love it because it’s not me going to practice and exerting all that energy, but I love it nonetheless. I have many, many great memories of my years of swim team summers. The first meet is tomorrow! TOMORROW! And sadly, Coco potentially has strep throat and Ramona is out of town on a choir tour with our church. That’s okay! We have the whole month of June for other meets. I love cheering on all of the swimmers, not just The Girls. Seeing young people with amazing strokes and skills is very exciting. I have seen some amazing swimmers over the past 8 years that The Girls have been swimming. We are at a new pool this year, so a whole new batch of swimmers to cheer on!

Good Music

The Avett Brothers, “Ain’t No Man”

JR JR, “Gone”

The 1975 – “Love Me”

Fitz and the Tantrums, “HandClap

The Lumineers, “Ophelia

Podcasts

I have spoken before about how I like to listen to music a lot. I still do, clearly. However, I have recently started listening to some podcasts on my way to work in the morning, and I have to say they have been very enlightening and entertaining. Glitter Queen requests me to put some on her Nano, so I have gotten some from her. Here are a few that I’ve been listening to:

  • This American Life
  • Nerdist
  • Freakonomics
  • The Way I Heard It
  • Nerdette

Freakonomics just recently had a whole month to learning to be more productive. I don’t know if there could have been a more opportune time for me to listen. (I think GQ might have requested those on purpose so I’d get hooked into them) I probably will go back and re-listen to one or two of them because sometimes it is a lot to take in at once.

Trinity School

I have just finished my second year at Trinity School. It was another phenomenal school year. It was a very challenging personal year, but my class, their parents, my teacher team, the administration, and everyone else at Trinity really helped me through a tough time. I continue to grow professionally and personally. I am excited about training opportunities coming up, and equally excited about the upcoming group of students that I will get to spend time with next school year. I am so fortunate to be part of a great school community.

So, there you go, that’s what I’m into now. It’s not 10 things this time. Maybe I’m narrowing my focus a little bit. It tends to be wide-ranging and makes it easy for me to get distracted. Hopefully, this shorter list will help me stay on task a little better this summer.

How about you? What’s good with you right now?

 

 

 

 

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 21 – My Astrological Sign & Does It Fit Me?

“The Crabs are mostly the family types. Their personality can be quite complicated, but deep inside they are conservative and home-loving people. They love to be in  familiar surroundings and nurture their relationships. To understand a Cancer-born more thoroughly, we can look at their positive and negative qualities.”
source

 

From Astrology Zodiac Signs
Strengths:
Tenacious, highly imaginative, loyal, emotional, sympathetic, persuasive
Weaknesses: Moody, pessimistic, suspicious, manipulative, insecure
Cancer likes: Art, home-based hobbies, relaxing near or in water, helping loved ones, a good meal with friends
Cancer dislikes: Strangers, any criticism of Mom, revealing of personal life
cancer negative

cancer positive

Positive                                                                             Negative

Hunh, this is like Grad School. I can find evidence to support whatever I think. I’m going to put the positive things in orange and the negative in blue (which offends me since blue is my favorite color, but I suppose I’m just being over-sensitive)

So, clearly, I’m Cancer-born. I read a long time ago that you don’t say, I’m a Cancer. I guess that would change if you were really toxic and caused bad stuff to grow all the time wherever you went, but I digress (and I’m not like that at all)

Looking at the Positive and Negative traits of a Cancer-born, I can see traits of me in both. I don’t necessarily find the “touchy” to be a negative unless it’s on the overly sensitive side, then sure, yes, that’s a little negative.

My intuition isn’t all that strong, I don’t think. I also don’t think I’m all that devious. I can be, but I am not normally.

Self-absorbed? Only because of my awesomosity. Sheesh.

Needy? I don’t know about that. You’d have to ask the Glitter Queen. I suppose she might agree to that sometimes.

Nicer than everyone else? Well, I’m pretty doggone nice I have to say. 

I don’t think I’m that possessive. This probably should have been a guest post with me asking people if I fit my astrological sign. Jeez, I don’t like looking at the negative traits picture. There are traits on there that are certainly true, but others that I don’t agree with. Again, Grad School. 

Being so SELF-ABSORBED I don’t know that much about other people’s signs and their traits, so…how about you? Do you fall in line with your traits? You can click on any of the links up above and see how you measure up.

I couldn’t find a meme or anything from the actual song, but I’ll share Fred Schneider’s quotation from “Song for a New Generation“, “Hi, I’m Fred, the Cancerian from New Jersey

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 5 – A Place You Would Live, But Have Never Visited

dreamstime_m_5918973

source – dreamstime

This is probably going to be a short post, but I’ll try to keep it entertaining. As you can see from the picture above, the place I’d like to live that I’ve never visited is Australia. I’ve got a bit of a Love/Hate relationship with Australia. Undoubtedly it is one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

sunning Kangaroosource – http://www.latesail.com/blog/tag/malaysian-paradise/

Are you kidding me with that picture? That beach? That kangaroo totally catching some rays? Who wouldn’t want to live here?

And then there’s this.

044927040-kangaroo-girls-ca-1925-ca-1945

source -Kangaroo & girls, ca. 1925-ca. 1945 / by Sam Hood

But, and it’s a big but, there are so many things that can kill you in Australia. According to this article on the Cracked Web Site, not only can kill you, but WANT to kill you. There’s even a song about it.

So, there you go. I’ve never visited Australia, but I would want to live there. I’d perhaps just be terribly nervous the whole time.

How about you? Where would like to live, but have never visited?

New Directions (again?)

I’m in my second year at Trinity School in Atlanta. In the 14 months that I have been in the classroom here, I feel that I have grown more as an educator than I did the previous five years at my old school. I think that the brunt of the responsibility for that lack of growth has to fall squarely on me. It’s tempting to put it on my old school system, but that’s not really fair.  Instead, I want to focus on the renewed energy, the renewed interest I have in learning and growing as an educator.

Here at Trinity there is a commitment to growth and development of the teachers. I have read more books related to my profession in this time than I have since I finished my master’s degree back in 2009. It’s not that they are just available here, they were available at my old school, I just didn’t take advantage of them. I was too exhausted at the end of the day.

I am being encouraged to blog, and as anyone who’s an educator knows, a schoolhouse or classroom is ripe with fodder to blog about. What goes on during the day, new lessons, new strategies, what works, what doesn’t, what flat out fails. And of course, there are the students. They’re an endless source of inspiration.

This isn’t the first time I’ve changed the direction of this blog, but I will say it’s the first time I have had a focus to set my sites on. My wife, GQ, has this with her writing, and now I’ve found mine. I’m excited about seeing where this goes!

So, new directions, right?

Don’t Box Me In

The Family recently spent time with someone that made me think about the boxes we find ourselves in. Different people want us to fit into different size, shape, or types of boxes, but really we are in charge of  that , or at least, we should be.
When I was a kid I know that an empty cardboard box was about one of the best things I could have to play with. I’m pretty sure this holds true for kids today, too.  I know it does with The Girls. The possibilities are endless as to what that box is and what it can be.  Calvin and Hobbes 
I have gone out of my way to bring boxes home for the Girls to play with and the reaction has always been similar: excitement. It’s exciting to think about the possibilities of what they can do in the box, what they can put in the box, where they can put the box, and so on. Crayons, markers, tape, scissors, glue and more change those boxes to ANYTHING they want them to be, and I love it.
When we grow up though the box changes. It becomes a metaphor. It changes from what can’t it be to what YOU are supposed to be.  Think about it, you probably have a job description. That’s a box that you are in. Unfortunately the possibilities are more limited with it than they were when you were a kid. Not always, I know, but a lot of the times they are.

Our lives and how we live them are also Boxes, and most of the time we have complete say as to the size, shape, and type of Box we have. 
Most people respect your Box. You make your choices and you live with them. Everything’s all good until someone tries to make you fit into the type of Box they think you should be in, or vice versa.
As I said, we recently spent time with someone who has a very rigid Box. EVERYTHING is where it should be at all times, and if it isn’t it get puts there or it Becomes An Issue. He likes to impose his Box on others with little regard to what others’ Boxes may be like.  In his mind all Boxes should be the same; there’s no need for other sizes, shapes, or types of Boxes. In his mind there are a finite number of Types of Boxes.
We heard several times how someone has a “problem” because he or she didn’t fit in a certain Box. This person feels so strongly about this that he gets MAD and cannot discuss why it might be okay for their Box to be different. It’s not really up for discussion.   “That’s ridiculous.” or “That’s just sad.” were two of the phrases we heard to describe someone else’s Box. These weren’t people that were trying to force him to accept something else. These people don’t know, or care what he does, or what his Box is like, but that’s not the way it is with him. This, of course, is wrong, but getting him to see this is futile.
Me, I try to keep my Box as open as the cardboard boxes from my childhood. I don’t always succeed. It’s flexible so if I push against a wall it bends out. With a really good Box there’s a really sturdy foundation that will hold it together even with some pushing.  My Box has gotten broken a few times from pushing on a wall too hard. It has a bunch of tape on it keeping it together, but it’s good. I like it.
How about your Box? Do you like yours? Do you think others should have a Box like yours, or are you okay with everybody’s Box being different?
The Girls often have different ideas of what the cardboard boxes I bring home will be, and sometimes those ideas change rapidly over the course of a couple of days. A lot of times they’re different from what I think the boxes could be, but that’s what’s great about cardboard boxes. 
What their Box will be like as they get older is similar; it is a limitless possibility and it may not always be what I think it could, or should be. My job is to try to make sure that their foundation is strong enough to allow the walls to bend out far enough without breaking.  Or at least provide them with a good roll of tape.